|
Mental Silence
NORMALLY
the mind is in turmoil; it is eagerly active. First of all it is preoccupied
with its problems and wants their solution. It knows only to think, to see pros
and cons, weigh, reason, deduce; it arrives at some kind of conclusion which
brings success or failure almost at random. Apart from this conscious or
voluntary activity there is in the mind a whole region of involuntary activity;
that is to say, it is assailed on all sides by a hundred thoughts, ideas and
notions that come from outside and fill your brain cavity and over which you
have no control. Each one tries to push forward, secure a place for itself,
claim satisfaction and fulfilment. They are all moving at cross purposes and
the mind knows no peace or issue. It
is possible to put a violent pressure upon oneself and forcibly push out all
this confused movement and make the mind vacant. But the effect of mental will
upon mind cannot be perfect or enduring. Besides it is not that, the absolute
vacancy, that is our goal. Some other way and manner has to be found for
stilling the mind's activities. It
is to call in the peace that is beyond, that is already there somewhere. It
happens, with a sincere demand or aspiration in the consciousness, a certain
readiness in the being. When that happens (something in the manner of the Upanishadic
vivrnute tanum svam – he unveils himself his own body), you
feel as if a sheer blank, even a black void has entered into you and captured
you. In the very midst of whirlwind activity comes a dead stop. Nothing is
there now, no idea, no thought, no notion, no motion even – an immense
emptiness has eaten up, engulfed everything. Keep steady and await. In that
stillness something rises up – up and up – and goes out beyond,
Page – 259 a tranquil
beam of consciousness. And then something descends, from afar – a peace, luminousness,
authentic and absolute in its reality. It comes down, enters into you, possesses
your brain and body. It has, you find, resolved all problems, harmonised all
contraries and conflicts; for it comes from the home of mother truth. Now you
do not strive, but you know, you do not grope, for you are led. You await and
at each moment you receive the direction as to what is to be done; you have no
thought or preoccupation, the inspired movement happens automatically and infallibly. Sometimes
it happens, too, that the sudden silence or inner immobility causes a
bewilderment and you are seized by a fear that you are losing all bearings,
that you are turning into an absolute idiot or something worse. Some in a panic
have let go the grace that came. In such a condition one has to be firm and
steady and continue. I
have said normally you are assailed by all kinds of thought. They come into
your brain from all quarters and demand audience and satisfaction. Thoughts
need come into the brain, because actions become possible through them, they
give the form and frame to your action. But the difficulty is that the thoughts
are not only various but almost always contrary to each other; we see man so
often moving in contrary directions and contradicting himself at each step. It
is bound to be so if the doors of the mind are left wide open. Sometimes,
however, or in some persons, one dominant thought takes possession of the mind
and drives out all others. In such a case, when a single idea rules, one is
likely to cut oneself down, narrow oneself and force the being into a
strait-jacket, to move in a closed groove. The being in its entirety does not
find self-expression or self-fulfilment. Thus you may have the idea, the fixed
idea, that the world is irrevocably miserable and incorrigible and therefore
you will naturally plan your whole life to that end, all your occupation and
preoccupation will be how to get away from this world, you will seek a far solitude,
inner and outer, seek release from existence and merge into the Transcendent or
the Void. On the other hand, if you have the idea that in spite of all
appearances to the contrary the world is remediable and reclaimable, then your
life takes on a different pattern. It will seek to find out ways
Page – 260 and means
of the remedy and to what degree the possibility goes.
Now, the value of an idea cannot be determined by the idea itself. Usually one
chooses because of some external reason or other: one's education, environment,
one's personal temperament, likes and dislikes go a long way in determining
one's choice. So the first thing you have to do is not to allow the thoughts to
come in pell-mell, as and when they like. Thoughts must come only when you
choose them and only those that you choose. There must be a conscious
selection. How to proceed in this work? As your own thoughts cannot choose
themselves, what you have to do at the outset is to call for a higher guidance
and let yourself be absolutely impartial and passive in its hands. A
blankness is needed, a white emptiness somewhere behind – even if it does not
come and occupy the front too. Give up personal choosing and wait for the
Higher Direction – the Divine – to do with you whatever it wills. Given the
requisite silence and reliance, the decision comes inevitably and you are moved
to do automatically what is required to be done from moment to moment. At first
you may not get the knowledge of the why and the wherefore of your action, you
act merely as an automaton but with the luminous silence within and a tranquil
aspiration attending. When once you have been trained in this unquestioning
docility, then knowledge will be given to you gradually, at first only of a few
steps ahead, later on for a fuller and completer perspective.
Page – 261
|
