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Dealing with a Wrong Movement
THERE is a great
difference between pushing a thing away simply because you do not want it and
changing the state of the consciousness so that the thing you do not want
becomes completely foreign to your nature. Usually when you have a movement
in you which you do not like, you drive it back and repel it, but you do not
take the trouble of finding in yourself that which served and serves still as a
support to the movement, the particular tendency, the turn of consciousness
which enables the thing to enter into the consciousness. If, however, instead
of a gesture of mere condemnation and suppression, you enter deep into your
vital consciousness and find out the support, that is to say, the small
vibration of a special kind embedded far in a corner, often a corner so dark
that it is difficult to see it is there, if, in spite of all difficulty, you
concentrate and follow on the track of the thing, the origin of the movement,
then at the end you discover quite a small snake-like thing, coiled up, quite
small, not bigger than a pea, but very black and embedded firmly. There are
then two procedures: either to throw a light so intense, the light of the
truth-consciousness, so strong upon the point that the thing is dissolved or to
seize the little object as with a pair of pincers, pluck it out and place it
before your consciousness. The first method is radical, but you have not always
at your disposal the light of the Truth and you cannot make use of it whenever
you like. So you have to take to the second method. You may follow it, but it
will give you pain, a pain as great as when a tooth is being pulled out. I do
not know if any of you had the experience, but it is painful. Usually, however,
what you do in the presence of an undesirable movement is to try to wipe it off
– gently, I suppose – or cover it up; thus things go on as before. You do not
have the courage and so
Page – 87 things do not change. Yes, it gives you pain; the pain is usually here in the heart. But if you have the courage, it is better to pull out the thing than to temporize with it; pull it out and put it in front of your gaze; it dissolves. That makes an end of it and you are cured. The thing will not come into you any more to trouble you. But the operation is radical and it has to be done as an operation. In the beginning you need a great perseverance in seeking out the thing. For normally when you are in search of these things, the mind comes in and deploys a thousand and one reasons and favourable explanations so that you may not pursue the enquiry. It tells you: "No, it is not your fault at all; it is the circumstances, it is the people, it is things coming from outside, it is this and it is that," all excellent excuses, and if you are not firm in your resolution, you let things go on and you remain where you were; the thing will come back to trouble you again and you have to begin all over once more. But if you have done the operation, everything is done with. Do not trust the mind and its explanations. It might inspire you to say: "Yes, yes, on other occasions it was like that, I admit, I was indeed in the wrong; but this time, I am sure, it is not my fault etc., etc." If you do not deal firmly with your adversary, it will be always there, hiding in the subconscient, lodged there comfortably, coming up any day you are off your guard. I have seen people cherishing the evil in this way for more than thirty-five years. And if one does not go about it in the right way, there is no reason why the things should not continue life after life. The only safe way then is to do the operation, cost what it may. For it gives you the final relief. I say, when you throw the beam of light upon the spot, it burns, it seres. But you must bear it. You must have the sincerity that does not allow you to draw back, to cover up the place and retire. You must instead throw it wide open, receive the blow straight upon you. I have told you to seek out the place where the hidden thing lies. The black thing has many a cosy corner in your being. There are people who have it in the head, some in the heart, others down below; but wherever it is when you track it down it has the same look, the little black creature rolled up, not bigger than a pea but hard and firmly set, a microbe-size snake coiled up. If it is something in the head it becomes somewhat difficult to discover.
Page – 88 For
the head is full of wrong ideas and it is not easy to put it into order for
pursuing the right track. A comparatively easier place to discover and to cure
is in the heart, though here it gives the greatest pain. But here it is found
more easily and cured also most radically. Down below in the vital things are
very confused and obscure. All things are mixed up in a veritable chaos. The
movements are also more violent, more uncontrollable and ignorant. Here are
all the movements of anger, pride, ambition, passion, all attachments and
sentimentalities, the hunger that you call love. And there are a hundred
others. There are as many kinds in the head too. There it is the perversions
of thought, all the betrayals, the betrayals of your soul. It is inconceivable
how one betrays one's soul, in how many ways, how persistently, the decisions,
the points of view, the favourable explanations which your brain supplies to
buttress you against your perception that you have done something wrong. You have
to disentangle all this, put each thing in its place, throw upon each the light
of your true consciousness and judge – burn, purify or transform.
Page – 89
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